My beautiful blessings!

My beautiful blessings!

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Fertility Specialist-Hope restored!!

After a year and half of struggling to conceive I finally told my Gyno I was done messing around and ready to see a fertility specialist. If it were up to her we would have waited a lot longer. She was very honest about how she was not a fan of fertility treatments. Lets just say she was not the most helpful Dr. when it came to infertility and by the time I was done with her I was feeling completely helpless and had lost all hope that I would ever get pregnant. I wasn't ovulating for 8 months straight and nothing she suggested worked. I don't think natural treatments are bad or a waste of time but it just doesn't work for some of us.

The days leading up to my first appointment with the fertility specialist I got in a little bit of a funk. I was just kinda feeling tired. Tired of waiting. Tired of trying to be patient. Tired of "trying" without success. Tired of taking those stupid ovulation tests and seeing that I wasn't ovulating. Tired of watching everyone around me get pregnant. I'm happy for every single one of them, I really am. I would never want to make them feel bad about it because having a child is such a wonderful blessing that should be celebrated. Nobody should feel bad about that not even around me. I'm happy for them, sad for me.  Some days it just feels like it's never going to happen for us. I was holding on to hope that the fertility Dr. would be able to help us. I began feeling very discouraged when I kept hearing how expensive fertility treatments can be. My sister told me when she went they told her it was going to be around 7,000. That is just to diagnose if something is wrong, that doesn't include the actually treatment, YIKES! When I heard that I felt so helpless and just wanted to give up and not go because there was no way we could afford that right now. That would be more waiting till we saved.

The night before my appointment I was feeling so nervous, scared and stressed! Kept thinking what if we couldn't afford it, what would we do next. I had myself a good cry, stayed up till 3am eating every bad thing I could find in my kitchen till I felt disgusting (can you say emotional eater lol) and watched One Tree Hill on netflix till I fell asleep. The next morning before my appointment I called my insurance just to see if they could give me an idea of what I might have to pay. All they could tell me was I would need to pay my $500 deductible and they would cover 85% of the testing and I would be responsible for 15%. I thought it's not gonna hurt to go to the consult and see and if it's to expensive for us right now we will go from there. If I don't go I will never know.

I am not gonna let fear win.

 If you can't tell I am such a worry wart. I swear most of my anxiety is because I worry to much about the future instead of just living in the moment and taking one day at a time. This is definitely one thing (among many other things) I am learning through this little bump in the road. Trust, have faith and live in the moment. Stop worrying about what I fear might or might not happen.

I'll never forget my first appointment, NEVER!

Keegan had to work and I didn't want to worry about getting a babysitter so I just brought Rome along. I was kinda worried to bring him because I didn't want to make any of the women in the waiting room feel sad when they saw him. Your sitting in a fertility center with your heart aching wanting to have a kid so bad and a kid walks in. I don't know, I was probably over thinking it now that I look back on it. Rome was being super hyper and trying to climb over all the chairs and rearrange the pillows on one of the couches but I was so glad he was there. He is a great reminder that miracles do happen and I'm so lucky he's mine.

As we waited in the waiting room I couldn't help but notice all the other women and couples and a few husbands waiting for there wives. I felt sad for each and every one of them. I'm sure so many of them have had a lot longer and more difficult journey than I have. I wished I could give them a hug and tell them I knew how they felt and that they aren't alone.  I don't know about anyone else, but I feel an instant connection to women who are struggling with infertility. I know they know exactly what I'm going through. The silent loss, the confusion, the frustration, just everything....I feel like I don't have to explain myself to them and how I feel, they just know. I don't have to explain to them how you can have this huge whole and ache in your heart but still be happy and grateful for what you have at the same time.

After about 20-30 min we were the only one's in the waiting room and I just let Rome run around since I didn't have to worry about bothering anyone. The wait was a bit long especially with a kid tagging along but I didn't mind. I hate waiting forever and then seeing the Dr. for 2 seconds and he is rushed and answering your questions before you finish asking them. But I don't mind waiting a long time if the Dr. takes his time with you and makes you feel valued and like he actually cares about what you are going through.

For the first time in a long time a Dr. made me feel valued!

As I walked into the consult room there sat an older gentlemen sitting behind a desk with a big ole smile on his face, "Hi, Aubrey come on in." He stood up and outstretched his hand to shake mine and said cheerfully, "So good to see you, I'm Dr. Shapiro, let's chat." I was taken back by how friendly and kind he was. I guess I have never had a Dr. who was like that so I really wasn't expecting it. All my nerves and fears were now gone and I felt completely at ease.  He was so good at explaining everything so that I didn't feel overwhelmed. He confirmed what I already knew, I have a problem ovulating. He said that I probably only ovulate a few times per year and now we needed to do some tests to figure out why and how to treat it. We are gonna test a few other things as well, like Keegan will get blood work and a semen analysis then the rest of the tests will be on me. My favorite thing he said was, he will be shocked if he's not able to get me pregnant. Ha ha, never thought I would be so happy to hear another man say that to me lol. I loved how Dr. Shapiro actually listened when I talked and made me feel comfortable enough to ask questions. You can tell that he really cares about his patients! I no longer feel like I'm just gonna be waiting in limbo. I now have a plan to help me get pregnant.

I now have my hope back and that's a good feeling!!!

Now on to the part I feared the most. The COST! She sat the piece of paper down in front of me. Now the price on the left is what each test costs and the price on the right is what you will pay after insurance. A sigh of relieve. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was hard to listen to her list all the tests and when I needed to get them because my mind was racing with excitement. We can do it, we can it, we can do it! Ahhhhh! We can afford to do it right now. I was so grateful at that moment for my husbands job and our amazing insurance. I was all worried and stressed out for nothing. Then I couldn't help but feel sad for all the people who don't have insurance. I added the cost of everything when I got home. Without insurance it would cost around $8,500 and we will be paying around $1,500. And again, that is just for the testing to diagnose what is wrong. That's not including the actually treatment. How do people without insurance pay for it?!?! That piece of paper that gave me so much joy and relief might do the exact opposite for someone else. And that is just sad.....

I left feeling so giddy and couldn't wait to get started on everything. For the first time in a while I let myself get exciting again about getting pregnant. For a while I just tried not to get my hopes up so that I would not be so devastated when it didn't happen. But now I'm letting myself be hopeful again.

My Everything!!  

The next day we did our first set of tests! Keegan did labs(4vials of blood) and a semen analysis and I did labs ( 9 vials of blood) physical exam of breasts and pelvic and vaginal cultures. Keegan is all done with his tests, the rest will be on me. Coming up I have some more blood tests, GYN ultrasound, Sonohysterogram and a Hysterosalpingogram! I can't do the next tests till I start my period. Never been so excited for a period to come lol. I am so excited to be moving forward in this process. I am so giddy and happy about all these tests even the one's I've heard are super painful because it's one step closer to my miracle baby! Eeeeek!

Bring it on!!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Family Fun in Las Vegas

I grew up in a small town about an hour outside of Las Vegas and occasionally we would make the trip in to Vegas for school clothes or grocery shopping and I always thought it was just this big scary place full of crime, dirty billboards and to much partying and gambling. I never understood how anyone could raise a family in a place like that. I would always think what do kids do for fun and how boring it must be. I never thought I would be happy raising a family in Las vegas and honestly the thought of it frightened me. But over the years while living here I've discovered that there is a lot more to sin city than what you see in movies and at first glance. There is a lot more family friendly activities than I had thought and I have really started to enjoy living here.

I thought I would share some of the fun things we love to do and some things we will be doing this summer!

City of Las Vegas Free Family Events
First up is a new discovery for us we just heard about through a friend. The City of Las Vegas has some free family fun events going on throughout the year.  The first event we went to was a movie at the Centennial Hills Park Amphitheatre and we all had so much fun and can't wait to go again!
Here's the next 2 events
Fishing DerbySaturday, June 14, 7:30 a.m.
Free and open to the public.
Floyd Lamb Park at Tule Springs, 9200 Tule Springs Road, (702) 229-8100.
Join Councilman Ross and the Department of Wildlife for a free fishing day. Look for updates on this event as the date gets closer.
Movie in the Park – “Frozen”Friday, June 20, 7:30 p.m.
Free and open to the public.
Centennial Hills Park Amphitheatre, 7101 N. Buffalo Drive (at Deer Springs Way).
Enjoy the family film “Frozen” in the park. Bring your blankets or folding chairs to be more comfortable.                 
Here's the link to the wedsite for more events 

All Sports
I think the thing Rome is most excited to start this summer is sports at the Las Vegas Indoor soccer center. They have sports for all ages starting at 18 months to adults! When Rome was 18 months old we signed him up for soccer and he loved it and I couldn't wait for him to turn 3 so I could start signing him up for other sports because they only had soccer for under 3 years old. This time we signed him up for the All Sports which is a 9 week season in which he will be experiencing soccer, football, dodge ball, kickball, track and field, and baseball.
Here's there website
Library Story Time
Rome looks forward to going to the park then to storytime with his buddy Camden once a week in the morning! There are so many libraries that do story time in Las Vegas, for us the Centennial Hills one is the closest!
Springs Preserve
We go to storytime at the Springs Preserve every week and LOVE it. At story time they read a book and then do a craft that goes along with the theme for that week. They also have events throughout the year, like just last week we went to the ice cream festival and it was so much fun. They had all you can eat icecream, pony rides, face painting and lots of other fun activities. It was only 4 bucks for pass holders! Everyone needs to go check it out at least once!!
A fun new thing they have at spings preserve is a mini golf course and we can't wait to try it out!

Children's Discovery Museum
 We have a season pass to the Children's Discovery Museum and go about every month or so! You will easily spend a few hours there, there is seriously so much to do! It is great for all ages and is definitely a place everyone should experience at least once in there lifetime! They just put in a new Magical school bus exibit we want to go see.
Here's the link to the website so you can check out all the fun stuff they have to see and do there!
West Wind Drive-in Movie
We haven't been to the drive-in movie in a while and I had to search the internet to find where it was again. The last movie we watched there was Despicable me 2 and we can't wait to go back.
$5 Movie Tuesdays 
At the Sante Fe Station Regal Movie theater they have 5 dollar tuesdays. I'm not sure for how long but we just happened to go there last Tuesday and found out they now had that deal.
4949 N. Rancho Dr.
Las VegasNV, 89130
(702) 395-0222eatre
Of course no summer is complete without lots and lots of swimming and sun. We go to the YMCA because that's where our gym membership is so we swim for free.

Pics of my cutie from last year